in a champagne supernova in the sky

I HATE NOT WORKING.

It is the worst feeling. Especially when I'm also not in school or doing a show. I hate waking up every morning with no plans. I hate not getting a steady paycheck. I felt really empty yesterday, and I couldn't figure out why.. I have an awesome boyfriend, had just hung out with great friends... It was not having work the next day. I hate not offering customer service. Really. The longer that I go without working, the more I realize I really like serving other people. Not to say I'd want to be a servant or anything that dramatic, but it feels good to be in an environment where people are turning to you for a task and you are fulfilling it.. and you also get a monetary reward at the end ;) And speaking of money, not having it is really shitty. If you want to leave your house during the day you're spending money. Gas, movies, food, shopping.. It's very difficult to have an active social life and still be broke. I just really hate that my existence revolves around money. I don't plan on being a rich bitch in my future, but I'll do what I can to make sure that every conversation in my family doesn't revolve around money. I see what it's done to my parents, and regardless of everything else, money has been incredibly stressful. I just can't wait to be active again. In 5 days I'll be starting RENT, which will keep me very busy, and shortly afterward will be starting costumes for Moreau, which is kind of a job. And school. Let's see how it goes!!

OH and Happy New Year? Wtf. This year was so fucking fast. Last new year's really seems like a month or two ago. And how much Josh and I have grown in love in that time! <33 I'm really lucky things turned out the way they did with him. That was really the only area in which I grew this year.. Not to say that was the only thing I focused on in my life, it's just that I stopped working in the summer, school was.. well.. I basically took the semester off.. And my personal growth came out of my relationship I think. Now this year I have to work on external things like school and work. Hopefully those areas will be more fulfilling in the upcoming year! :)